Man flue !!!!!!

Now some of you women might be a bit scepticle as far as the dreaded " MAN FLUE !!!!" is concerned  well believe me it is very much a real condition that lays waste to a fella .
Having suffered from many ailments over the years man flue has to be the worst with a nose that constantly runs when talking to a beautiful woman , joints that ache which makes us do that old man noise when we bend over eyes that fill at the slightest breeze leaving us look like a hormonal 40 year old woman watching Titanic and of course a laugh that ends up sounding like an asphmatic seal which leads to a cough that even a Mountain sheep would be proud of  it isn't a good look and why oh why would any woman thing a man is putting it on ?
Sympathy is furthest from a Womans mind when her man is struck down , she just takes great pleasure in belittling him  infront of her friends and anyone she talks to whilst shopping in the local supermarket .
 That instinct to nurse and protect her man ! the provider , the giver of pleasure , the buyer of shots on a Saturday nights , the hanger of shelves and saint to all thats is being dragged from one bloody shop to another  that instinct is gone and those words of sympathy changes to " Well its not as bad as giving birth , you should try that sometime its like having your arm ripped of !!!! " .
I say "  if it was that bad love why did you do it again and again ??????? "

" HELP I'M POORLY !!!!!! "